Poker Dog

A man and his dog walk into a bar and see that there is a poker game going in the back room. The man decides to join in and sits down at a table. Most of the players are locals, but one guy, a big winner, is also a stranger in town.
About an hour into the game, the tinker gets a good 7-stud starting hand. On fifth street he makes a club flush. Unfortunately enough, the stranger seems to be working on a spade flush and his highest up card is bigger than the tinker’s highest card. As 7th street is dealt, the man pats his dog on the head and says, “Girl, I could use an ace of clubs. ”
The dog runs around to the stranger and bites his ankle. As the stranger reaches down to catch the dog, a card falls out of his sleeve. The dog quickly picks it up in her mouth and brings it back to her master. The stranger, realizing he’s been caught cheating, quicky rushes out the door with several locals following him.
The man takes the card from the dog’s mouth and starts to swear, “You stupid, goddamn dog! Can’t you get anything right?”
The barkeeper asks him, “Mister, why are you swearing at your dog like that? She just saved you a lot of money by catching that cheat!”
The man only throws the card face up on the table, “I tell her the ace of clubs and what does she bring me? The goddamn ace of spades!”

Cussing Player

In a 10-20 Hold'em game at the Mirage, a drunk was begining to get out of hand.
"Well that was one pussy-pink river card from you dealer!" he bellowed after missing a flush.
The dealer beheld the drunk gravely; "Sir, there is a young lady at the table. If you don't control your language, you will have to leave."
On the next hand, the drunk doesn't improve his set on the flop and looses to a straight. "Jesus Christ! Why don't you just light my fucking wallet on fire pinhead!"
The dealer was absolutely at his limit; "Sir, I'm telling you for the last time; there is a young lady at the table! Control your language or you will be escorted out of here!"
On the following hand, every player in the game wades into the pot. There are raises and caps on every card. In the end, the drunk sucks out an inside straight and wins the 10-20 pot of the month. The drunk looks out over his pile of chips at the dealer and asks, "Do you boys pool your tips togeather or do you keep them for yourselves?"
The dealer replies "All dealers here keep their own tips."
The drunk tosses two green chips at the dealer and says with a grin; "Well have a Goddamn toke on me, motherfucker."
The dealer picks up the $50, turns to the young woman and says, "Miss, I'm afraid you'll have to leave the table."